The Danger of Self-Esteem: Homily for Thursday, December 14, 2023

Readings for Today. Listen to our other podcasts.

O worm, Jacob. O maggot Israel. Why does Isaiah refer to people in this way?

The Danger of Self-Esteem

There was a period of time where there was a great concern about the self-esteem of children. But they weren’t feeling very good about themselves. And so the solution was to boost their self-esteem, to make them feel better about themselves.

The problem wasn’t so much that the issue was identified, it was the solution. Which was simply to tell children they were wonderful without any real evidence. So if you didn’t do so well on a test, well you’re wonderful. But if they didn’t study, and if they didn’t put forth any effort, well they weren’t really wonderful.

And what was the result of such language? Well, it was that we see when children are surveyed around the world, our children think they are absolutely the best in the world. But when we look at data of any kind, we find that our children are not the best in the world. They’re good, but not great.

I would suggest that it goes even further than this though in terms of the problem. What do we see today among young people and men? Real mental health crisis. It’s a crisis. It was bad enough before COVID. It is even worse now. Why did such a thing happen? Why do we find ourselves here?

I’m going to suggest that one of the reasons is exactly what I’m talking about. Indiscriminately, we told children they were wonderful. If you played a game and you lost, well you still got a trophy because you were really good. All you had to do was show up.

But what do kids know deep in their heart? They’re not perfect. When we gave this indiscriminate praise without any specific example, it was meaningless. And in fact, it was worse. Because they looked at their lives and said, everybody’s telling me I’m wonderful, but I don’t feel wonderful. Therefore, there must be something wrong with me.

Now I mention all of this because of the words that Isaiah uses in the first reading. Because sadly, it’s not just a problem with children. I think Americans have a pretty high self-esteem. I think we think pretty much of ourselves. I think we’re pretty darn good.

If you travel abroad, for example, it’s easy to point out the Americans. We’re loud, we’re boastful, and we’re obnoxious. And yet, we hear something in this prophet Isaiah. He uses language that quite frankly is far from flattering to describe the people to whom he is speaking.

O worm, Jacob. O maggot, Israel. You know, if we were talking about terms of endearment, I don’t think either one of those would go very far in feeling very endearing. When it comes to God, we have to recognize that if we’re going to call Jesus our Savior, then it means that there is something from which we are to be saved.

If we don’t need a Savior, then it’s silly to be calling Jesus a Savior. We sin. We fall short. The person we celebrate today, St. John of the Cross, first of all, was a very good friend of St. Teresa of Avila. They were spiritual companions, both Carmelites.

And they had a deep and persistent desire to know God. And isn’t that really what the season of Advent is all about? It’s to recognize that we have a persistent desire to know God. It was St. Augustine who said, Our hearts are restless, O God, until they rest in you. During this season of Advent, let us ask the Lord to open our hearts, to give us the grace to change our will, so that we might rest in God.

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